To my friends

It’s weird. It’s about 20 minutes that if I want to write down something I start thinking in English… well, in a weird English, but surely not in Italian.

That’s weird. It’s not a particular day today. I mean, nothing “special” related to American or English friends happened today… Well, I guess is quite useless to try to figure out the reasons of this unusual situation.

I think it’s more important to focus on what this situation made me to think about: friends.
I know, I know. I have been talking about friends a lot of times, but they are pretty important in people life… or at least, I think they are.

In these days a lot of my friends are dealing with pretty complex and difficult situations. Some are dealing with health problems, someone is trying to fix family situation, others have problems at work, and so on...

I wish I could do something more than just praying. I know, praying is important, but…I wish I could do more. Even hugging them, or just have a cup of hot chocolate (tea or coffee are fine too) with them.

I cannot do it.

The only thing I can do more… Is it probably keep talking to you through pictures?
Most of you have "met" me through my pictures... I hope you will enjoy if I keep showing my "works" ;D

I could start with this one…a kind of sun set “at the sea”. Ok, that’s not exactly a sun set at the sea, but this is the sea at sunset time at least. I already talked about the place where I took this picture.
And I know that, at least some of you like the sea because you live pretty far from it.

Or I could just show up this man at the sea, in what I think it’s a canoe.

Sincerely, when I took this picture I wasn’t thinking about its possible “meanings”, I just liked the aesthetic aspect of that situation.

Tonight, instead, when I saw the picture thumbnail on my computer desktop I thought that this could perfectly represent how I “see” most of you.
You may look left alone in the “middle” of the sea, but most of you have a lot of friends.
Where are the man’s friends in this picture? Nowhere, they are just on the right, in a building on the coast (of which you can see a part on the right in the sunset picture).
I am glad that most of you can count on your families and/or friends.

I wish all of your problems will be solved (in the best way) as soon as possible.

Oh... This doesn't mean I don't think about those friends with no "big problems" or that are going to get married in few months, or that are enjoying their first grand baby ;)

Looking up

Thinking about today... only this picture comes up to my mind... ...of a little bird that is looking up to the sky, just few instants before taking off. Do I feel this way? I guess that, at least, I would like to feel so!

Or probably it's due to the fact I recall with pleasure the moment I took this picture. At that time I was studying Analysis I, well that wasn't really pleasant, but I remember that in those weeks I used to study in front of the window, with my camera ready to take a picture of what these young birds were doing.

A day, just for coincidence, I had the chance to take this picture. I think pretty few people would think it has been took inside a kitchen of an apartment, belonging to a building located in the middle of a city.
This little guy was standing on the pine (the Christmas Tree in vacation) that there is on my balcony.

I think that, if there's something of good that I had the chance to do, often unintentionally, is to be able to catch the positive and unusual/unplanned aspect of the reality, of that reality that surrounds us but that, for some weird reason, we are not observing with pleasure...

But it's fine, if we start again to observe our world,we can be surprised and we can cheer up.

Fleck of dust

"I, being but a fleck of dust into the world, I am bigger than the world itself. ".

(Catania, Saturday 17th January 2009)

The sentence is a translation of a Father Giussani's sentence, that i read in a book some years ago.

Company

Yeah! I am crazy! A crazy idiot!

I am an idiot because I wasted the whole day for the pain that I let win on my will to study.
I kept having pity of my self for being so "weak" and this made me close my eyes, as always.

I am crazy because while I was writing an endless post with thousands of words that said nothing I realized how to say something i have been wanting to say for 2 weeks or so.
The concept, in my mind, is linked to this picture

that I took in August 2008 during a walk I had with some relatives. There were me, my parents, my aunt and my grandma, we went out to pick some blackberries.
That day was cloudy and annoying, I had taken almost no pictures but when we went out for that (unplanned) walk the sun come out and I had the chance to take some pictures.

This picture recall me some concept that are the main themes of the thought of these last months, of course when I am not too busy with complaining! ;)
Recently I have been thinking a lot about the value of a family and of a "company" and how both are necessary to be happy... and because I have to start from some point my mind picked up to think about family and the movement my family belong.

Indeed, I grown up in a family belonging to a Catholic movement (Comunion and Liberation) and it's clear what importance they, at least theoretically, give to the fact of being a "company".
I guess it is normal that when I was a child that group of people meant "home" for me... but with the passing of the years I couldn't stand most of them anymore, as well as I couldn't stand almost any other human being.

So, I guess it's normal that the last time in my life I felt really at home was in March 2002 while I was being confirmed in the Cathedral of my town.


During the Mass the choir started to sing something. I cannot remember what it was but it called me back while I was getting lost in not really good thought alike:
"Tomorrow I have that annoying Latin test, today it's cold, I am nervous and some "creative guy" had the unhappy idea to make 7 people sit on the same bench... it's symbolical I know, but half of me is sitting on nothing, i am suspends it's so uncomfortable, beside the cathedral is full of people but except my parents no one of them is a friend or a relative of mine.. I feel so..."
the song changed the thought in: "... Wow! COOL! I feel at home, everything is fine!"

The beauty of the singing, the beauty of the place I was being in, the beauty and the importance of what was happening made me find back serenity, and erased from my mind any bad thought. Well, it helped also to see that my religion teacher came for me. She didn't knew me and I didn't have a great esteem of her but she proved I was wrong, she showed me that despite she wasn't able of witty speech she had what is really required to be a great person: A good hearth.

In the following years I forgot all these church-related events, i focused only on my problems and let only some "chat friends" to help me...
I let you imagine my surprise and my pleasure to see that, finally even on that "devilish web", there were member of that"company" I had missed for years. And I let you imagine that one of them is actually a member of THAT choir that made me feel me at home some years ago.

I still think that I won't feel "at home" as that day anymore, that there is actually no home for me... but, now, at least, I feel a lot of steps closer to that "home" I am looking for...

There is still a lot to say and to do, but it's late, it's better if I go to bed in order to avoid to waste another day, even if I am starting to think that I didn't waste this friday at all, thanks to love and friendship that surrounds me...

...and sorry if I have bothered you.

:)

Immaculate Conception

"Sicut lilium inter spinas,

sic amica mea inter filias"

Nostalgia is... missing a friend

"I don't want him for other four years!" or something similar said Randy when Bush won for the second time the election to be USA president.
I remember I tired to make Randy smile and show him that 4 years are not the eternity, that they will pass and he won't Bush won't be the president any longer.. I think that as always happened with him that frustrated conversation changed into a fun one and every sad thought disappeared, from our minds, for a little while.

I guess it's normal I have been thinking about him a lot in these days.
I found me thinking things like: "somehow those 4 years really meant the eternity for Randy"; or yesterday I was thinking: "I am sure he knows who is going to win and he is probably laughing at the idea we don't know"; and today I am thinking "I would like to know what he would have said about these election. I would like to know who he would have voted for... probably Obama?!".

Yeah, I am missing a lot our fun chats!

About a dream, about an hope.

The dream

Who knows me knows also that I dream a lot and one of my biggest dream is to go, at least for a travel, in the USA.
I have had this (not that) secret wish surely since I was 9... probably even since I was 6, indeed, few months ago I discovered that, on a side of a table that was in my room, there is a label where I wrote my name and my surname and "New York". This label reminded me that I liked the idea to be visiting at least that city since I was 6 or so.

I guess that now I don't know exactly which is the FIRST thing that made me having this wish but I can say that the reasons to go there changed with the passing of years.
For example, in the last 4 years the reason that makes me keep on with this dream is the desire to go for a visit and an hug, at least once in my life, those American friends I talk with almost every day.

The hope

Now ...Americans are voting. And I am curious to know what is going on... but at the moment the only thing I understood is that journalist, politicians and writers are fully expressing their endless ability to keep talking for HOURS about something they don't know! It will take a lot of hours till will be clear who is the 44th USA president. It's a little irritating, so I decided to turn off television, and going to sleep but...

But, before closing this day I wanted to express my hope about what is going on.
I cannot express my opinion because I know pretty few about politics, I let you figure out what I know about USA one... but I think you don't have to be an expert to understand that this an important day for USA and world future.
So, even if I don't know who is the best one between Obama and McCain, I HOPE that will win the "less dangerous" one! :) I hope this because USA is too powerful and its government behavior can influence world history a lot.

Really, may God bless American and suggests to American citizen and politicians the best behavior.

May the whole world moves, with the help of God, toward the proper direction.

Against Darkness

It was a Monday in late November. You had come to the university even if you hadn’t to. You wanted to spend lunch time with me because you knew I would have been alone, you knew I needed you.

In those days, too, I used to go to the university with my digital SLR camera because I wanted to catch something for a university photographic contest.

That Monday, after lunch, we had a free hour or so before I had to go to the laboratory for a couple of hours and you offered to be the subject for a picture.
I have spent one of the most amazing hours in my life, I was spending time with you, I was taking picture and you were a perfect model! You did everything I said you to do… “Go there”, “look on the right, not that much”, “now look toward me”, “no, no, no, turn on the page too, don’t be so steady!”.

Here the best picture I shot that Monday…

It’s among the best pictures I ever shot. This picture means a lot for me.
There is you, the person I love since March 2007 [well...that's the "official" date but... :)].
This is the final result of a series of tests I did to learn a new photography technique.
This is also a post-it of a great lesson I should never forget: “Love taking picture, love what you are taking picture at”. I realized this rule only after few months when I understood that one of the common elements of each picture I am “proud” of is the mood I was when I shot that picture: being glad. Yeah, usually I take pictures I like only when I really love the reality that is surrounding me at that moment, when I am glad to have had the chance to see that beautiful aspect of this world.
And in that Monday it was you, holding the “Bible” for physicist that study matter and listening to my “orders” and doing something you had never done but seemed so “natural” for you.

You know that this picture is also shown in an article written on another blog about photography, and thanks to this article I had found at least 3 new friends.

I didn’t win that contest but you are beside me, I have learnt a new technique and probably one of the “golden rules” to take pictures and I had met new friends.

I think I have received from that hour of “work” not what I wanted but much more than I expected! :)

P.S. My flu and some annoying people tried to ruin this 3rd November, but we won't let them down us ;)

Cold and cool!

What have I been doing in these last days?
A lot of tiring things, the main one is lying on my bed. Don't you think it's tiring?!
It is when you have high temperature, you have to blow your nose, and later when temperature goes down and you think "I am going to get well" you start coughing every 4 seconds...and you feel like you have to do your best to keep your lungs inside your chest... but, it's getting a little too macabre!

Maybe it's better if I talk about another (pleasantly) tiring aspect of my life: Friends! ;)
Why tiring? Because when I just want to be LAZY they call me back to "active" life!.
Yep, I have really amazing friends that are extremely bothering: they made me keep doing "something" even in these days!
This mean that in these days, when I hadn't a too high temperature, I have been trying to do thing using my iMac.
I have to admit that this attempt has been productive (or harmful?) because I STARTED to work on the Italian version of this blog, just to make happy Italian web surfer. (But the Italian blog is NOT opened yet, I have to complete some works!)

I had also discovered new realities and even a new aspect in my behavior: the ability to keep calm.
It has been strange but in these last days I have been able to keep calm in front of problems that few days ago would have made me really furious or sad. Problems alike illness, annoying people, bad events in general (like the last chaotic days at the university) seemed less difficult to be solved.
I wish this "coolness" it is not due to my cold only!
I hope I can keep improving the ability to not get angry too easily and to do my best to avoid any arguments and so on...

I am glad I can say or, at least I HOPE I can say that in these days I had the luck to see another good, but apparently, hidden aspect of my life... despite all the bad events where surrounding me.

Thanks to my friends and to my Love for being so supportive (and patient of course) :).

P.S. Well... looks like I am still really good at being delirious even if I have a normal temperature!
Sorry! :D

Ciao bello!

I haven't wrote yet the post where I explain the title and the goals of this blog, but as I said previously one of the main topics I am going to talk about is: "what makes me loving this life despite all its bad aspects".
Therefore, I guess, there's nothing of strange if I am going to talk about the people I love for their birthday because it's the day in which they joined this world. :)


The "lucky" one today is Allyn from San Francisco, CA, whose birthday is on September 23rd... but, ssh! He doesn't want to make a big deal of it! :P


Who's Allyn? Difficult to define a person in few words...


I started talking with him in April 2008, this make him one of my "newest" friend... I know,
it is only 5 months ago when we started to talk, but it feels like it was 5yrs ago because we had the chance to talk and argue (difficult to avoid arguing with an annoying person alike me) about a lot of things.
I guess that, despite the little time passed since our first chat, he is a really good person who really loves life (yeah, even if he doesn't enjoy birthday! :P )
You can see his good hearth not only from how he talks with people but also from how he talks about his wife and his daughter who he loves so much!


I am really glad to have met this man. (What a news! I wouldn't define him a friend if he wasn't such a pleasant person! ;P).


Last but not least, I have to say that he is very skilled at photography. If you don't believe me you can see and buy (!) some of his pictures visiting this site.



I want to wish him a (belated) HAPPY BIRTHDAY, using this picture of his... despite it's a very good shot it's not one of his best shot... but I am sure he is going to understand why I am posting this particular sunset picture of his. :)

Loving the rain

I used to hate rain, I also had a couple “good reasons”:
- a couple of days before it starts raining I often star having a lot of pain for some days,
- if you look for the chance to take pictures filled with sun light… a rainy day isn’t that helpful…

It’s September 20th, 1.40 am and, I don’t know when, it has started to rain.
I realized it because I heard the typical noise that cars do moving along the nearby road, now I can also hear the noise of the falling drops. I love these sounds and this moment.

I am in my home, in my room listening only to water sounds (I guess I have to thank my silent iMac).
My leg hurts a bit, but it’s OK. I am fine.
Online there is a friend from Texas talking with me, he agrees that “rain is a good thing, in moderation”.

All this makes me think about another friend, from Iowa, who loved rain too.
I still remember our “friendly” arguments about rain, he loved it while I hated it.. and what great laugh we had those days that it was sunny in his town an rainy in mine! :).

I am smiling now… I am glad to have known this man… He did a lot for me…beside sharing with me one of the biggest friendship I ever had, he taught me a lot of things, he gave me the greatest chance I ever had to make real one of my biggest dream: being able to understand and speak English. I have a lot to do but he really helped me.

Tomorrow (the 21st) should have been his 57th birthday… “Should have” because he died in June 2007.

All this is making me really thoughtful, I cannot stop thinking about the strange coincidence happened during the night of the 21st Sept 2006. It was his last birthday, it has been one of the last time we talked, but at the same time I talked for the first time with the boy that now is my boyfriend and that I love so much!

I am also thinking about what rains means for me now, it was February 2008 when I first thought “seems like Randy has come to blow away my sadness”. It was a night similar to this; I was really thoughtful, and I understood it was raining in the same way…I heard that noise made by car motion on the street.

The following morning I had the chance to shot this picture. It’s probably not a great picture but you can understand why I love it.

Since that day, each time it is raining I like to think that he is a step closer to me, I don’t care if it is a stupid thought but the important thing is that thanks to our friendship I love something that I hated and shouldn’t be hating (if it falls in moderation of course).